Scars
by DarkHeartInTheSky
Summary: He may have won the ceremonial duel, but that didn't make him the King of Games. He would still be living in the shadow of a man who died long ago. And he was more scared now than ever before. He just had to get the courage to live on without his best friend. One-Shot.


**Dedicated to Crazy-Queen-Of-Games-In-Secret for being the 100****th**** reviewer on my story "In The Dark". It took a little longer than I expected, but I hope you like it!**

**Sage: You'll do anything for reviews, won't you?**

**Not anything necessarily. I have dignity!**

**Sage:….Riiiiiiight. **

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He had felt pain. He had felt fear. He had felt happy and angry and sad and lonely. But nothing matched with what he was feeling now. As he lay in his bed, with the curtains drawn tight, and the lights off, he felt absolutely nothing. His skin was cold and his mind was numb, barely a thought crossing it. He would have thought that he was dead, if not for the steady rising and falling of his chest that he couldn't control.

He wished he could control it. If he could, he would make it stop. He didn't want to feel this anymore…whatever this was. It was close to nothing. As though he had taken an ice cold bath. He had felt this way for the last several weeks, and couldn't bear it much longer. His eyes traveled down to his arms, where he could still see the claw marks that had been dug into his skin.

Yugi exhaled. He didn't want to have to hurt himself, but it was the only way he could make sure he was still alive. Because he felt like he was floating in some sort of unforgiving nightmare that refused to let him go, and refused to wake up. Yugi knew 'he' wouldn't approve of his behavior lately, but why did it matter?

He was dead.

And Yugi was supposed to not need him anymore. He was supposed to be a big boy and be able to handle the World on his own, but yet he was still lying in bed, refusing to leave his room.

Yugi wanted desperately to say he was independent, but he couldn't. He wasn't ready to face life on his own, no matter what Ishizu said. What did she know? Yugi had barely spoken to her in the short amount of time he'd seen her. She always wanted to speak to the Pharaoh, to tell him of his ancient past, and what lay in store of him for the future.

Everybody wanted to talk to the Pharaoh. And Yugi didn't blame them. Who wouldn't want to talk to the Pharaoh? He was strong, confident, wise beyond his years.

And what was Yugi? A scared, weak, stuttering child, even though he had reached his adult years. He was everything the Pharaoh wasn't. Was it no wonder everyone wanted the Pharaoh instead of him?

There was a rapid pounding at his door, but Yugi ignored it. He wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone. But it seemed he didn't have a choice in it, because soon it swung open revealing an irritated looking Joey. Yugi groaned. Curse his door without a lock.

"Yugi." Joey said coming closer to the bed. "It's time to get up. You're going out with me and the rest of the gang to the park today."

Yugi shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but I don't want to go."

"Yeah, here's the thing. It wasn't an offer. It was an order." Then, Joey grabbed Yugi by the ankles and swiftly pulled him out of bed, earning a yelp from the younger boy.

"Joey!" Yugi yelled as he found himself on the floor. He watched as he blonde friend went up to the windows and drew the blinds open, causing blinding sunlight to enter the room.

"Come on, Yuge. You look like you haven't gotten any sunlight in days! And for some reason, I think that's true." Joey frowned as he studied his younger friend. His skin had gotten incredibly pale, making the dark circles under his eyes stand out like bruises. He had lost a lot of weight as well. Joey could tell by the way his pajamas just seemed to hang off him. Joey knew these last few weeks had been hard on Yugi. They had been hard on him too. But he knew he couldn't just lock himself in his room and hide for the rest of eternity. Yugi had to know that too.

"I've gotten enough sunlight." Yugi argued weakly.

"Really? When was the last time you even left this room? I haven't seen you in weeks…Gramps says you hardly eat…You look like a mess…This isn't healthy, Yuge."

"Thanks for the concern," Yugi said as he got to his feet and sat down on the foot of his bed, "but I'm fine. I promise."

Joey shook his head. He knew Yugi was stubborn. He knew it was going to be a challenge to get him out of his room. But this was getting ridiculous. Yugi couldn't even think of some reasonable comebacks as to why he should be left alone.

"I don't think you are." He finally said, coming closer to Yugi. He knew what was ailing his friend, and that was the problem. There was nothing he could do about it. The Pharaoh had gone to the afterlife, like he should have three thousand years ago. He was where he was supposed to be. But the Pharaoh had proved to be a great friend to him. And he had shared a mind and body with Yugi for years. Joey knew he couldn't understand the sense of loss Yugi had to be feeling now. But he needed to at least try; otherwise Yugi would probably spend the rest of his life in his room.

He sat down next to Yugi. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Yugi replied softly.

Joey sighed. "He was a friend to all of us. I know you had a deeper connection with him than any of us could ever imagine. Why don't you tell me what it was like being the bearer of the Millennium Puzzle?"

Yugi bit on his lip and clamped his eyes shut as a few stray tears rolled down his cheeks. He cursed himself for crying in front of Joey. He could never be as strong as Joey or the Pharaoh. He let his emotions get the best of him too often. He rarely ever saw Joey cry, and he had never seen the Pharaoh cry. He felt Joey put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Take all the time you need, pal."

Yugi inhaled a shaky breath through his nose. "He…he was always there….I-I was never alone, I could always feel him in my mind…He would always be there whenever I was scared or upset…And he would always try to…try to comfort me…" More tears fell down Yugi's face and he wiped at them angrily.

"You can't lock yourself in your room forever, buddy." Joey said, unsure of what else to say. "You know he wouldn't want that for you…"

"Well what would he want?" Yugi screamed, turning to face Joey. Joey couldn't help but flinch at the tone in Yugi's voice. Yugi rarely ever screamed or rose his voice. To see him to do was very uncharacteristic.

"I-I…what do you mean?" Joey asked, stunned.

Yugi stood up and crossed his arms, turning away from his friend. "How do you know what he would want? You barely even knew him, _I _barely even knew him! I shared a mind and body with him and I knew as much about him as he knew about himself! And yet…" Yugi paused to take a breath, "he was my best friend…and I…and I was stupid enough to think that maybe I was his best friend…I was stupid enough to think that maybe I mattered to him."

"Yugi, don't talk like that. You know you meant the World to the Pharaoh."

"Then why did he leave? If he even gave one damn about me, why did he leave?"

Joey swallowed a lump in his throat. "You know the answer to that Yugi…"

Yugi bit his lip and nodded. "I…`I'm being selfish. I know he needed to go…but I never knew how eager he was to go. The minute those doors opened, he just seemed to race inside them, without even saying goodbye. And I sent him away! I could have lost the duel and he would still be here…"

"Then why didn't you?" Joey said quietly.

"Because…because…I didn't want to keep him if he didn't want to be here."

"Yugi," Joey said standing up, "you did the right thing. None of us are angry or upset with you."

"That doesn't mean I can't be upset with myself." Yugi mumbled. "How can I go face you guys? You all expect me to be like him…"

"What on Earth would possess you to say that?"

"Because it's true!" Yugi whirled around. "Everyone expects to me to be like him…and I'm not. He did wonderful things, Joey. He sacrificed himself to save his country. He risked his life to save me. He was brave and strong and fearless…and I'm as much a child now as I was the day I put the puzzle together…"

"You're brave too." Joey said. "You defeated Bakura all on your own, back there in the Pharaoh's tomb."

"That was just luck of the draw."

"God, Yugi! Why can't you just accept a damn compliment? I've watched how you've grown since the Pharaoh…We all can see it. Why won't you?"

Yugi didn't know how the answer Joey. How could Joey be saying those things? Was he really brave like the Pharaoh? He didn't see it. He was crying and had locked himself in a room just because he was upset the Pharaoh choose his family over him…He was just being a selfish brat. The Pharaoh deserved to be with his family. They had been waiting for him for over three millennia. They deserved to have him back just as much as he deserved to go back…Yugi was an adult. He needed to make his own way in the World.

But just because he was an adult didn't mean he couldn't cry like a child when he needed too, right?

Yugi felt his throat swell up, but he managed to get the words out that Joey needed to hear. And more importantly, the words that he needed to hear. "I'm scared." It came out hoarse and Yugi winced at the sound of it.

"Of what, Yugi?" Joey asked tentatively.

"Of living without…the Pharaoh. He made my life so much better…before him, I didn't have any friends…and now look at me. I have friends from all over the world! But…I don't know if they were…if they were my friends, or…or if they were his."

"That's ridiculous, Yugi." Joey said, raising his voice slightly. "People love you!"

"No one gave a damn about me until the Pharaoh came."

Joey fell silent and he had to think about of a rebuttal. But, he couldn't find one. Yugi was right this time. He had been the target to every school bully, even Joey himself. Joey still regretted the way he had treated Yugi all those years ago. He hadn't meant to hurt Yugi, he was only trying to teach Yugi to stand up for himself. He could see now though how he hadn't approached the situation in an appropriate manner.

But none of that mattered now. Yugi was his best friend, and he needed help right now.

"Yugi…we're not going to forget about you. We were you friend before we even knew about the Pharaoh. And we'll be your friend for every year after him."

"I just…I don't think I can live without him."

"You will. You'll see. I know it'll be harder for you than the rest of us, but you'll pull through. You have too, Yugi. I don't want to lose you as a friend too."

Yugi gave a small smile and wiped at his eyes. Joey was right; he was being stupid, locking himself in his rooms. It wasn't a healthy way to grieve. And his friends needed him. They had been there every time he needed them. It was time he returned the favor. Because they were grieving too.

"So," Joey said softly, "you'll come to the park with me?"

Yugi nodded. "Of course I will, Joey."

"Good." Joey frowned slightly. "But uh, do me a favor first? Can you take a shower first? You smell like sweat and despair."

Yugi let out the first real laugh since the Pharaoh died. He knew the next few weeks, maybe even months, wouldn't be easy. He knew there would be days where he would want to lock himself in his room like he had. He knew there would be days when it felt like there was worth living for. But he couldn't let those days get to him. He still had friends who loved him and wanted only the best for him.

He had to be there for them, because they had been there for him. Just like his friendship with the Pharaoh, his friendships with Joey, Anzu, and Tristan would last forever.

He just had to realize that they needed him as much as he needed them. And he had to let the scars of the Pharaoh's death heal. They would take time, but, eventually, they would heal.

In the meantime, he just wanted to go out and have fun with his friends.

**End **


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